Public Safety
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning Survivors Dating Violence – Abusive Relationships – Rape and Sexual Assault Male Survivors
This section deals with the specific concerns members of the LGBTQ community may have regarding sexual assault and dating violence. The SUNY Niagara Wellness Center, and the YWCA of the Niagara Frontier 24/7 Rape Crisis/Domestic Violence hotline, provides services to all students, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, or gender identity. Research estimates that 25% to 33% of LGBTQ relationships are abusive (the same percentage as in straight relationships). Abusive LGBTQ relationships have the same dynamics of power and control as straight relationships, but frequently go undetected and unreported. Because of this, abuse in LGBTQ relationships can seem like a hidden problem. Attitudes like “women don’t hurt each other” or “a fight between two men is a fair fight” can keep people from recognizing abuse. Some abusers threaten to “out” the victim to parents, friends or employers. A survivor may be afraid to get help, worried that the police and counseling services will be homophobic and insensitive. This page provides LGBTQ resources and links for survivors and information on how to help a friend. The SUNY Niagara Wellness Center, and the YWCA of the Niagara Frontier 24/7 Rape Crisis/Domestic Violence hotline provide advocacy services to all survivors, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, or gender identity.Dating violence is always the responsibility of the abuser, regardless of the gender or gender identity of the abuser or the type of relationship. But abusers may use a person’s identity as a way to abuse or control a person who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning. For example, an abuser may use threats of outing a partner’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or HIV status to further control the person they are hurting.It’s important to know that violence/abuse is not likely to stop on its own – episodes of violence usually become more frequent and more severe. The SUNY Niagara Wellness Center and the YWCA of the Niagara Frontier hotline can assist you: The SUNY Niagara Wellness Center and the YWCA of the Niagara Frontier work to prevent sexual assault, relationship violence, and stalking and provide advocacy services to students who are survivors of interpersonal violence. The programs provide survivors (and individuals assisting survivors) with emotional support, someone to talk to, and referrals for medical and legal options; in a setting that is non-judgmental. The programs do not tell survivors what to do; instead they offer options that are available to you. Services are free and confidential. The Wellness Center and the YWCA serve all survivors of interpersonal violence, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, or gender identity. We highly encourage survivors to contact either program; coping with an abusive or violent relationship can be a very difficult and confusing process. Contact the SUNY Niagara Wellness Center at 716-614-6275. For more information on the YWCA of the Niagara Frontier please call 716-433-6716 or visit our website at https://www.ywcaniagarafrontier.org- Accept responsibility for your behavior. Remember that the use of violence is a choice and you can choose to change that behavior.
- Alcohol, drug use or mental health problems may make abusive situations worse but they are not excuses for abusive behavior.
- Do not make excuses for your violence or blame your partner for your abusive behavior.
- Seek professional help from a qualified counselor who is knowledgeable about partner abuse and has experience working with the LGBTQ community.
- Stop using abuse of any form (physical, sexual, verbal or emotional), including threats and intimidation.
- Be careful for yourself. Let your friend know what you are comfortable doing and what your boundaries are. You can also get support for yourself from the resources on and off-campus that are listed below.
- Be supportive and respectful. Make clear statements about your friend’s value and rights as a person, such as “No one deserves to be abused.”
- Do not confront the abuser. This can result in an escalation of violence against the survivor.
- Do not send a voicemail message or an email message about the abuse to your friend. You do not know if the abuser is monitoring the phone or the computer.
- Do not slip a referral card or any other information about abuse into someone’s bag or under a door. If the abuser finds this, it can also escalate the violence against the survivor.
- Don’t criticize the abuser. A survivor often has conflicting feelings about the abusive partner. If you’re critical the survivor may become defensive or shut down. Instead, talk about negative behaviors by saying something like, “I’m really concerned about how your partner treats you. Nobody has the right to put someone else down.”
- Encourage your friend to make a safety plan if they have decided to leave the relationship. Your part in a safety plan can include walking home together, checking in at certain times of the day, and having a code word your friend can use if they need immediate help.
- Your friend’s first step to safety could be you letting them know that they are not alone and that they are not crazy. Let your friend know that many people experience abuse and that there are resources where they can get help.
Contact
- We can be reached by calling: 614-6400 from an off campus line.
- Calling extension, 555 or 6400 from on-campus Sanborn phones or ext 2555 from NFCI phones.
- Blue phones on the Sanborn Campus by lifting receiver
- Blue phones outside the Student Housing Village by pressing button
- By reporting directly to our offices; Sanborn Campus – G-106, NFCI Office – Reception